Thursday, November 17, 2011

Living the Dream

You may think it's all fun and games here at the Flint Expatriates headquarters in San Francisco. But just because there's no crime and the unemployment rate is relatively low doesn't mean there aren't drawbacks to living in the City by the Bay. Take men jogging in Speedo bathing suits, for example. I'm still recovering from this scene which took place just a few blocks from my house in Bernal Heights. My only consolation is that this guy appears to be whiter than I am, and I haven't had a tan since Jack Morris was throwing for the Tigers. The so-called Speedo Jogger is actually attracting less attention than the infamous Bikini Jogger who has been spotted in the neighborhood. Bernalwood, a blog that's similar to Flint Expats except the guys who publish it actually live in the place they're writing about, has been all over this story:

In the Pacific Northwest, they have Sasquatch. The Yeti is said to stalk the Himalayas. In Scotland, searchers seek the Loch Ness Monster. And of course, Ahab had his white whale. Here in Bernal Heights, we also have an elusive creature that is the object of much fascination and conjecture: The Bikini Jogger.

Necks are sore on the west and north slopes of Bernal Hill as residents do double-takes upon capturing a glimpse of the fit and fierce morning jogger as she works through her intense fitness regime.

The fact that she seems to eat the steep grades of Elsie and Stoneman for breakfast is impressive enough, but the truly remarkable (and much remarked upon) thing is that she does so in the better part of her birthday suit. Even on cold, cloudy days, this Wonder Woman look-alike is clad in nothing but a bikini and sneakers.

Why is it that no matter how long I live here, I still feel like I'm just visiting?


  1. Ah, but the sexual energy of exhibitionism can fuel prodigious athleticism.

  2. I think if I wore a speedo out jogging there'd be plenty of people saying they saw Sasquatch.


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