Monday, July 14, 2008

Baggy Pants Guidelines

Flint's crackdown on baggy pants has caused some confusion. Just how do you differentiate between the "immoral self expression" that interim Police Chief David Dicks wants to stop and people who just like comfortable, loose-fitting trousers? Luckily, the Flint police have issued these handy guidelines.


  1. Is this the best graphic of all time? Yes.

    I know the law is intended to grant coppers the ability to legally hassle young black men, but will it be equally enforced? What about plumber's butt? Ladies with exposed thongs? Droopy toddler drawers? Oldsters with exposed Depends brand briefs? Flint has always had ill fitting clothes. You could take the young black dudes out of the equation and you'd still have scads of exposed Flint ass.

    If the junior Dicks really wants to utilize the "broken window" concept perhaps he should concentrate on something like oh, I dunno, ticketing the mobs of shitheads who hang out in the midle of streets. One time I had to drive through a party of no fewer than 25 jagbags loitering on E. Hamilton. 40s held aloft at 3pm on a weekday? Where? Oh, the midddle of the street? Sure, why not...

  2. I just don't get this. Of course I don't want to look at anybody's buttcrack out in public any more than the next person, but really - with all the cuts in the number of police in Flint, it is simply UNFATHOMABLE to me that our finest have nothing better to do than to go after people for the way they choose to dress. The emphasis here is on choice, people - freedom of choice! But that's just one issue. The police in Flint have other far more serious priorities and problems, and fashion simply isn't one of them, or it shouldn't be. That Chief Dicks has appointed himself the watchdog and sole definer of immoral self-expression (and thus its opposite)is far more frightening in its limited interpretation of the First Amendment and all the potential social consequences compared to the prospect of glimpsing more than one might care to see in a pair of baggy pants. And when it comes right down to it, is the person who has just been robbed, beaten, knifed, car-jacked or left for dead supposed to wait for the officer to finish arresting and writing up Mr. (or Ms.) Low Rider before the 911 call gets a response? Get your priorities straight Chief Dicks!

  3. Is there a fine for going shirtless and covering your upper body in powder blue paint?

    Maybe he's headed to a Lion's game.

  4. The function of police does not seem to be fighting crime, but rather social control and protection of property.


Thanks for commenting. I moderate comments, so it may take a while for your comment to appear. You might enjoy my book about Flint called "Teardown: Memoir of a Vanishing City," a Michigan Notable Book for 2014 and a finalist for the 33rd Annual Northern California Book Award for Creative NonFiction. Filmmaker Michael Moore described Teardown as "a brilliant chronicle of the Mad Maxization of a once-great American city." More information about Teardown is available at